Monday, October 21, 2013

True Peace and Inward Trust

When I least expect it, an unsettling feeling creeps up on me and stays.  Call it worry, fret or hormones; it robs me of my peace.  I also feel a little guilty for my lack of trust in God.  At times, my fear seems bigger than my trust. 
I get rattled and ponder the heaviness of life and how it can be so overwhelming.
Yet, there are directions.

Chapter 23, page 147 in the "Imitation of Christ":
To enter the abode of true peace and inward trust one must seek to do the will of another rather than his own.  Always choose to have fewer riches rather than more.  Always seek the lowest place and desire to be subject to all.  Always wish for and pray that the will of God be accomplished in you.

This really works!

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

This morning I was reflecting on a dream I had about 3 years ago.  It was a dream of a huge bible that opened up before me and a light shown down on the verse Hebrews 11:8.   I've been wondering about this for 3 years.  This morning I decided to find out what the readings were for this coming sunday and sure enough, Hebrews 11:8 is within the 2nd reading.  It's a reading about faith and about how temporary this life is, but to keep our eyes on Heaven; the promise land.
If I could do anything I wanted today, I'd go to St. Joe's and sit in front of the Holy Tabernacle and just be with God in that special way so that all my fragmented inner parts would softly go back together and peace would prevail in my mind and spirit.
Instead though, I have to go to the grocery store, do laundry and clean, bake, cook, etc., but I'm trusting I can find time with God in doing these chores with order, patience and reflection.  I'll try my best.

Here is Our Lady's last message to "non-believers" she gives on the 2nd of each month.  I'm not sure why "non-believers" are addressed this way.......maybe it's folks who have not yet taken God at His Word and just go for it?  Not sure, but at any rate, there is love there for those who wish to partake of It.

August 02, 2013 "Dear children, If only you would open your hearts to me with complete trust, you would comprehend everything. You would comprehend with how much love I am calling you; with how much love I desire to change you, to make you happy; with how much love I desire to make you followers of my Son and give you peace in the fullness of my Son. You would comprehend the immeasurable greatness of my motherly love. That is why, my children, pray because through prayer your faith grows and love is born, the love along which even the cross is not unendurable because you do not carry it alone. In union with my Son you glorify the name of the Heavenly Father. Pray, pray for the gift of love, because love is the only truth: it forgives everything, it serves everyone and it sees a brother in everyone. My children, my apostles, great is the trust that the Heavenly Father has given you through me, His handmaid, to help those who do not know Him, that they may reconcile with Him and follow Him. That is why I am teaching you love, because only if you have love will you be able to respond to Him. Again I am calling you to love your shepherds and to pray that, at this difficult time, the name of my Son may be glorified under their guidance. Thank you." 08/02/2013

(via the seers of Medjugore)+


Friday, July 19, 2013

Summer blues

It seems like every summer I get SADS "seasonal affective disorder syndrome".  Most folks get it in the winter, I know.  But, alas, it is here in full bloom like the algae in Lake Erie.  I have tried to deal with it the best I can by remembering what I have learned from past episodes.  Even praying is difficult but I trudge onward.  
I have these wild and ferocious ideas to just scrap everything in my art studio and have a huge bonfire and experience total freedom.
I imagine myself doing this in a fit of rage and then having a huge cry afterwards that would last for hours.  Drama queen.
I have not followed through with this self made path of destruction and fall back on trying my best to imitate the virtues of Our Lady.  I can't see Her having a coniption fit, but I can see Her waiting out the storm doing something constructive that would help others. 
That other voice in my head says, "yeah, but that is all you do now: cooking and cleaning.
It does seem like that is all I do, but I have to remember to do little things with great love and to remember what Blessed Mother Theresa said about how it all comes down to you and God at the end of the day
"So, what did you do with your day today?"

I sat and stared out the window,
I tried to pray and read Your Book,
I watched reruns of the Housewives of Orange County, Jersey, and some other locations I can't recall,
I spoke grumpy to my husband and looked for everything wrong in what he did today, and brought it to his attention,
I asked You to have patience and pity for me and apologized a few times for being such a wreck,
I worried about money,
I did notice how blessed I am but ruined it with how soon it could all change for the worse,
in the end I accept this phase as from Your Hands and trust You with it and wonder what it is You are teaching me.
I miss our priest who is on retreat and haven't been to daily mass in his absence yet, take good care of him please.
So, basically, that is what I have done with my day.

"Remember when you asked Me if I loved mosquitoes?  I said yes, I do because they have always done what I made them to do: be mosquitoes."

You made all things for Jesus and He holds it all together for our sake.  I'll try not to make His job any harder.  Tomorrow is a new day and another chance to be a better me.  Love you,

Saturday, March 23, 2013


 Every morning, after feeding the horses, I make a trip out to my garden.  Sometimes, I write with my gloved finger a message to Our Lady.  From me to Her.  I usually have something on my heart I need to go over with Her.
For a long while now I have felt like our country is at war, within itself.  Seems like now, children are committing serious crimes and as well are victims of serious crimes.
Everything is a grievous mess.  I wrote the word "stay" on the bench in front of Our Lady's statue.  Imagining Her looking down from Heaven, reading it.  I was pleading with Her not to stop appearing in Medjugore, not to give up on us and I reminded Her of Her promise not to abandon us on this journey.
After kneeling and praying a Hail Mary, I rose up and went to walk away to continue with the morning chores and I felt a gentle nudge at my soul saying to me: "Stay with Me, do not give up on Us, do not abandon your faith.  Stay!"

Yes Mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I WILL stay!!!!!! I will NOT give up on Heaven and I will NOT abandon my faith!!!  I will stay and fight for God as long as He allows me to breathe!!!!

A new surge of hope filled my entire being and I felt encouraged and ready to serve with less questions, just actions of love.  That is how we serve, in humility, simplicity.....acts of love and kindness.  Just like the song says, "Trust and Obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, than to trust and obey."

MESSAGE OF FEBRUARY 25, 2013 from Our Lady:
"Dear Children! Also today I call you to prayer. Sin is pulling you towards worldly things and I have come to lead you towards holiness and the things of God, but you are struggling and spending your energies in the battle with the good and the evil that are in you.  Therefore, little children, pray, pray, pray until prayer becomes a joy for you and your life will become a simple walk towards God.  Thank you for having responded to my call".