The Sweetest Wedding

My sister was married this past friday. A monumental occassion of which our family siezed the opportunity to celebrate. We've been through trajedies that make other people shake their heads and wonder how our family survived such emotional pain. We survived and we thrive because we know the depth of loss as well as love. We are blessed. We know all of Heaven is with us each step of the way. I can't quite put into words how it feels to see someone you love with your entire heart, broken and then after a long time, come back to life healed, still scarred, but stronger and more beautiful than ever. There was a time I did not think she would make it, not after her loss....but she chose life and never gave up.

Also, if you are able to believe in Heaven, and I do from personal experience, you long for your loved ones in Heaven to be proud of you, to rejoice with you. I believe they celebrate our milestones.

The day before the wedding we decked out my house with flowers and the day of the wedding, the sun came out and stayed warm and sunny during the reception. We had tons of fun and if I could use one word to describe it all it would be "gratitude".

Love to you all.

God's mysterious ways!

I would like to dedicate this post to a sweet woman who lives in Montana and her name is Juliana. She owns a shop on Etsy; JulianasJammin.etsy.com. A few weeks ago I was struggling, and I mean STRUGGLING with fear issues of all sorts. Lots of junk going on in my brain and it was beginning to really get me down. While checking my Etsy site I discovered that Juliana had hearted my shop, so I went to her site and found that she, not only sold rosaries and jewelry but explained the background of the stones and metals she uses to create these awesome works. I wrote her a looooong convo and poured my heart out to her. You know God works in mysterious ways. She wrote back and was incredibally kind, helpful and honest. I ordered a pendant made of Carnelian, turquoise and copper. I was first attracted to it because it reminded me of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. See the above pic?

And, on top of that she sent me a pocket rosary made of carnelian stones and copper as a gift.

I believe in the power of stones, metals, rocks, trees, rivers, herbs, you name it, if God made it, it was for our good. I think there are tons of blessings all around us, tons of help and silent shouts of love and encourgement. Ya just gotta believe, take time to be quiet and trust, trust, trust.

I have a dear friend who has lost several family members and in such a short time span. She is grieving as you can imagine. I thought maybe a new rosary would help somehow. Juliana made this one special for me to give her (pic above). It has rose quartz and ametheyst. The rose quartz administers to emotional pain, the Amethyst encourages inner peace. There is much more info on stones and their capabilities/meanings on her Etsy site.

Oh, see the earrings? pic above to right? She sent me those as a gift.

I can't say enough about this good hearted woman, whom I've never met, but God put her in my life and I am grateful.

I just love synchronicity!

Drying clothes and thinking

I made a temporary clothes line by sticking this contraption into a table that has an umbrella hole. Genius, I know. I have this thing about drying clothes either outdoors when weather permits or on the dining room chandelier when it's snowing outside, either way, but not in the dryer.

My dryer is a thousand years old because I baby it. I baby everything from my jeep to my toothbrush. That's another story (much less exciting than this one.)

I just think drying clothes naturally makes sense and it gives me time to think about really deep stuff:

"I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweat shops." _Stephen Jay Gould

Tonight when I'm lying in bed waiting for sleep to take over I'll think about how another day slipped by without having done anything of real importance and how before I know it, it will all be over before I even got a chance to say, "ahem".....

But what is of real importance? How would I be able to tell, by the news? other's works?

I believe I'm doing exactly what God wants me to. If I didn't believe this with all my heart, I'd be crazy, okay...crazier!

"So be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."

_Unknown

Learned associations

This past weekend we went to our cabin in southern Ohio. We know we are blessed to have this place and are hoping that someday, when circumstances permit, we will live there full time. It's funny, some people think stuff like this happens out of thin air, but no, it takes lots of time, work and sacrifice. By the time my husband does retire and we move down there, we'll probably sleep for the entire first month! That's the plan, and it's a few years away. But, having a plan gives us a goal and we are the type who enjoy the journey. Here's some photos I couldn't resist taking on the path that follows along the river. The Red Bud trees are plentiful in the woods of Southern Ohio as well as wild dogwoods. There are tons of wild flowers blooming too!

I love Buckeye trees.

We dug up a couple little ones to plant here at home. As my husband was putting them into the back of the car he hoped they weren't poison oak. I took a couple double takes at what he dug up. They DID look like poison oak.....but, it's been a few days and I've not broken out in a rash, so we must have got Buckeye trees. I have GOT to get a book that identifies trees, flowers and such for down there!

And, speaking of identifying....has anyone ever seen this flower?

It grows along the banks of the river. The blue is (I'm going to sound corny here), but it's breathtaking, seriously!!! such a pretty blue! I would love to have a dress that color!

What I love the most about our cabin and land is the quiet. To hear birds, the river and the wind in the trees is a gift from God. It soothes my mind and my body relaxes and breathes correctly again.

Somewhere along the way, I've associated traffic/neighbor noise with tension? I don't know.

But, it's SO wonderful to escape it now and then.

If I can find peace in the middle of chaos, then I am strong. But, that's not how it is for me, yet.

I associate chaos with evil.

Man, there's tons to learn, isn't there!!????

These past years, my prayer has been that hearts will soften in hopes that people will lay down their angers and resentments and see beyond their own pain. I know that is asking a lot. But, I will keep asking, praying and believing. And the beauty of one flower assures me God is listening.

Things I noticed

The other day I was at the gallery and noticed how blue the sky looked with that red roof and white siding on a nearby building. It was a wellspring of ideas for art and I started getting all sorts of ideas for watercolors. But, I didn't go after some close up shots, I stayed politely at a distance. I have GOT to be more assertive! I could have taken more photos, but am too darn timid to go outside my comfort zone. Another opportunity passes me by. My Muse must be so sick and tired of my cowardice. But, in my own defense I was supposed to be working. Which reminds me,

here's a shot of the guy who works with me.

He's great, doesn't talk much, good listener. Nah, the gallery owner created him, he is the train conductor. It's fun to see the reaction on people's faces when they first notice this creature. He is positioned behind the jewelry counter playing checkers.

Oh well, meanwhile back at the ranch,

looks like spring has definitely won over winter's grip on us. Now if people could just be happy and stop holding up fast food restaurants we could all feel better regardless of the price of cornflakes.

Amen!

Fear Factors

I had tons of errands today, 7 stops that are, luckily, within the same small town. I do stuff like this early in the morning to get it over with. I hate to drive, for one and after all these years of shopping and running errands, the novelty is gone. Yes, I'm grateful I can do my errands in peace with a false sense of security which also gives peace. The crime in the northern part of this state is getting bluntly brazen. I listen to Howie on the radio and most times the topics and discussions scare the crumbs out of me. They talk crime, politics and the high cost of gas, ya know.....that sort of thing. I couldn't go out to my mailbox today, too scared. My husband says stop listening to that talk show and stop watching the news!!!! grrr! Okay, fine. Then that will eventually give me a sense of false security. Is that a good thing? Or does it make a person clueless and unprepared? Hooded hoodlums in sweatshirts go right in a house or an establishment and rob innocent people. I have a hair appointment coming up and I'm scared to go. Should I take a gun? Nah, all I have is a shotgun, that would look stupid at the beauty parlor. How about a stun gun? How about just going and feeling like it's all left to chance. Cause it is. This fear thing is my dad's fault!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (kidding, sort of) he told me when I was a kid that the end of the world would come before I finished highschool because people were so nuts. I think I was in Junior High at the time and that's when I stopped doing my homework or studying.....why bother? I thought everything my dad said was gospel. Oh well, humor helps, here's a good quote: Crime does not pay.......as well as politics. -A.E. Newman PS. I went to the hardware store to get a skillet made in America. All the nice slippery ones were made in China, so what did I get? This black rod iron sort of heavy as a cow thing that I can barely lift. My grandma had one. Regardless, it felt good to buy something made here at home! I wonder if when Miss Piggy said, "never eat more than you can lift" was using a skillet like this? I made sausage gravy as my first try with cast iron. woo-hoo!!

Time to think

Seek out that particular mental attitude which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, "this is the real me", and when you have found that attitude, follow it.

_W. James

The real me? Sort of like, "to thine own self be true"? That takes courage and lots of self confidence!

I'm in the process of accepting myself. This is a full time job!!! I find I'm trying to accept aging, disappointment, failure, loss and a host of personal flaws. I'm judgemental of myself, so I must have been judgemental of others.

I'm sorry.

Like I said, I'm in the process. I am trying to stop judging others and maybe by doing this, I'll lighten up on myself.

I hope so.

I hope I find the "this is the real me" attitude and then follow it. I think at times in my life I've certainly felt close to this point but I couldn't hold on to it.

The past 10 days have been topsy-turvy for me. Husband had the flu, so he was home and I was busy taking care of him, then when he felt better we went to our cabin and really, it's so peaceful there, I'd rather not have had to come back. I never know just how much noise pollution drives me nuts until it ceases.

I don't think anybody should rob another of hearing a robin sing. Yet, I need to learn to love the neighbor's son who rides his 4-wheeler all afternoon or to say a little prayer for the people riding Harleys that zoom by all day. If I can do this, then I'm on the right path......I'm sure.