Thursday, April 3, 2008

I love nuns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In August of 1988 I found myself sitting in a pew inside the Sancta Clara Monestery on a hot afternoon, crying. After awhile, a woman came in from a side entry carrying a vacuum cleaner and looked annoyed. I guess my sobbing just didn't go with her plans to vacuum. When I looked up and read her face I felt stupid and uncomfortable so I left.
I decided to go to the monestery's gift shop and buy a holy card, a candle, anything. Sr. Bernadette answered the door, put her arm around me and gently led me to a private area, sat me down and said, "child, what is wrong?"
In between sobs I told her a year ago that very day by son had been accidentally shot and killed. That he was only 12 and I really missed him and I was sorry that I couldn't stop crying and I knew she couldn't fix my situation, and that I really didn't know what else to say.
I just babbled.
She took my face in her hands, looked lovingly into my eyes and said, "God is proud of you."
At the time, it made no sense and I remembered saying why would God be proud of me? I was a wreck?!
She didn't even try to explain. She just held me and cried with me, for what seemed a long time. Finally I was able to collect my self and drive on home. I thanked her for her kindness, I WAS so, so grateful for her kindness. I can't even tell you how much.
It wasn't until years later I finally understood what she meant. I was able to understand, not from my own view of my life, but from my view of others. Others who lost and kept getting up in the morning. Others who didn't stop washing the dishes or doing the laundry, or going to work, or weeding the garden, others who kept on living inspite of their pain and loss.
That's what God is proud of. He's proud of us when we DO NOT GIVE UP.
I read somewhere recently that everything we do is sacred.
I love that.
I love Sister Bernadette.
I've lost touch with her over the years. I think she went to Alabama to be with Mother Angelica. She may have even passed on already.
Wherever she is, I love her.
Thanks to everyone who ever gave another person a pat on the back, a drink of water or even a smile.
It's all sacred.


Rosie's Whimsy said...

Oh sorry for your loss. And, so glad that God gave you an Angel to help you on that day. ((hugs)) Rosie

RainbowMom said...

Wow. I love her too. I'm crying with you here. What a beautiful and inspiring story. :) Thank you.