Thursday, May 21, 2009

Look for it

The other day I was reading an article "The Secret of a Happy Family" by Mary Ann Budnik. I found it on the EWTN site. She wrote about how many of us center our lives around the quest to be happy. Mistakenly, we may dedicate all our energy towards pursuits of power, wealth, fame, winning the lottery, etc. CS Lewis points out that:
"God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."
When I read that I thought how true that statement is. God is the sole creator of happiness.
He wrote the book on it!
We can try to figure it out on our own, but we usually take ourselves and those we love down the tubes.
She also pointed out that as parents we fail to teach our children the value of suffering. There will be times when they will suffer. We have to help them learn how to handle these sufferings to keep them from searching the world over for a distraction. (The world has plenty of distractions; drugs, shortage there, ugh!)
I remember my dad crying when his mother passed away. I was a little girl, he was around 55 years old. I can still see him sitting all alone behind the barn with his head in his hands, sobbing. I ran up to him, put my arms around him and asked him why he was crying.
He said, "I miss my mother!" and he allowed me to comfort him.
I remember thinking how huge his love must be to hurt this much. I'd never saw my dad cry before.
I also remember the strength that showed in his face, a determination.
Then, many years later, dad passed away & I experienced the same thing; finding a quiet place in which to cry and even saying the same words, "I miss my dad!"
Dad allowing me to see his pain, gave me the ability to sit with my own, and to find strength. Love never dies, it gets stronger, even after death, loves grows.
Amazing when you finally realize the realtiy of this fact!!!!!
I don't need a holiday named Memorial Day, to remind me of those whom I love that has passed on, or those whom I didn't know but paved the way for me. This reflection is respected every day in the Mass, in my heart and in my child's eyes. I see my son in my daughter's eyes. I see my dad in my brother's eyes, my mom in my sister's eyes. When my niece laughs, I hear her dad's laugh. When I see my nephew's smile, I see his brother's smile.
All the love you have ever known surrounds you. God never takes, only gives.
I've read where people cry the most, not when they are hurt, but when they find hope.

1 comment:

Annie said...

When my daughter was in her teens she learned the value of suffering in a series of events. Classmates died, some by suicide, some by terrible illnesses; she watched her grandfather struggle with cancer and eventually pass away. Then her grandmother had a stroke and died after 2-3 years.

I would not wish this on any youngster and yet it is the way of things and it has made her a stronger young woman and I know she will be well prepared to care for her own parents (us) or her own spouse/children if she was called to that.