Dark Fun

To embrace an early summer morning, you must wake up really early, around 5am and go outside barefooted. Look about, listen and feel. It's so magical. I was so enthralled with looking at everything I almost walked face first into this spider's web!

The moon and fog changed the familiarity of my yard. Trying to figure what side of the fence that dark blob was...... I wasn't quite sure if that was Betty (the sheep), or a deer. Softly I spoke her name and she came near, then out of the fog, I could see Nancy (the horse) slowly walking towards us. They're so sweet and must have woke early too. May as well get their breakfast.

The barn was chock full of quiet. The birds who roost there must have been up early too getting that unlucky early worm.

I thought about how much I miss sleeping through these wee hours of the morning and missing years of experiences that are pleasant and stay with you, in a good way.

Every hour in the darkness holds it's own magic, doesn't it? I figure since the days go by so darn fast, why not get a hold of some of these other hours?

Oh yeah, I'm sleeping.

" The morning, which is the most memorable season of the day, is the awakening hour, at least, some part of us awakes which slumbers all the rest of the day and night."

_Henry David Thoreau

Buzzards and Toes:)

A group of buzzards have taken up residence in the woods behind our house and I am infatuated with them. I'm trying to get a decent up close photo of them in flight. This as close as I could get. I'm not coordinated enough to see them flying overhead, then capture that in the nick of time on camera.

I love how their shadows quietly zoom across the yard, usually my first clue they are about.

For the first time I've noticed the buzzards, crows and a hawk are sharing this wooded area. Usually it's just the crows.

You just got to adapt, that's all. Take shoes for example: when you get older, you can't tolerate certain types of shoes and I found that out today. I wore some high heeled pink very pointed shoes today knowing I would be on my feet for 4 hours.

Dumb, really dumb. I cannot THROW those shoes far enough!!!!!!!!!

Here's what I'm migrating towards:

Yeah! Engineer boots!!!!!!!! Woo hoo! These suckers cost $200 and are made in America by Frye.

And these, were made in who knows where but are enjoying their second summer on my feet.

Tonight I am going through my shoes and the really stupid ones are going in the trash.

Note to self: "I'm too old for pointy shoes"

Fighting Nature?

This is why I've not been blogging much of late; my yard is being overtaken by things like crabgrass, corn and several other huge things that come from using one's horse manure as fertilizer.

Plus, windows, all of them, need washing, the washing needs washing and my hands hurt from all the pulling and tugging. I'm convinced if I moved away for one year and left this property to care for itself I would return to find it completely covered in vines, weeds and cobwebs. Nature claims it's space back as soon as we allow it to. I'm not sure if fighting nature is what I wanted to devote my time to, so much of my life to, but, I seem to be doing just that.

Not being able to stay focused for longer than 5 minutes isn't helping either. I got out the ladder, which weighs about 2 tons, and decided to wash the windows on the west side of the house, but oh look, the bushes need trimmed back before I can do that, so I got out the trimmer and, oh look again, I've managed to cut the cord right in half with the trimmer.

The bushes win, again.

Beauty in the weeds

There will always be hard times to go through, confusion, chaos, war, breakups, death. That is part of life. No big discovery on my part here, just thinking how important it is to keep your eye on the Prize. Make Heaven a significant part of your thinking when facing a problem, it helps keep things in balance.

I've been in the pits of despair, feeling so sad no one could reason with me. Only what I had experienced as love, held me through it.

See this sunflower? It was planted by a bird in the midst of zillions of mosquitoes that prevented me from weeding the flower bed. Everytime I look at it I think about the strength of faith, arising from despair and weeds, planted by a common bird, becomes a creation of God.

That is what we are, children of God. If I ponder on this fact, I feel connected with Him and the rest of His children here and in Heaven, filling me with a humble strength that quiets my mind, slows down my steps and I can once again breathe.

Yes, I am a child of God as well as a common sinner walking this earth, making mistakes and praying for mercy. I'm not a religious zealot or feel holier than thou.

I just miss my loved ones who've died, I tell God that I don't understand things at all, but quietly wait, trusting Him. I get up each day and do my best for my family and for myself. I laugh a lot, too....joke around, chop wood and carry water.

We are all so much alike, it's only fear that keeps us apart.

Hay!

Morning chores: Feed dog, feed horse, feed sheep, feed birds, feed husband and finally sit down and drink a hot cup of coffee. This goes on rain or shine, snow or sleet. Going out to the barn every morning and evening can be a drag, especially if I'm not feeling chipper.

(To the right, is Betty waiting for me to feed.)

But most of the time, even during snowstorms it's an adventure of sorts. Being a part of this world has taught me much. Nancy, the horse, is a two-eyed jack registered quarter horse who is now 26 years old.

"All I pay my psychiatrist is the cost of feed and hay, and she'll listen to me any day."

_Author Unknown

She wouldn't be worth ten cents to most people, she has arthritis and some other feet troubles but to us she is worth her weight in gold. And we spoil her rotten!

Do I ride her, heck no! As Roy Rogers put it, "When you are young you fall off a horse and you may break something, when you are my age, you splatter."

I don't think I would splatter necessarily, but for sure it wouldn't be good.

So, when your daughter is 14 and talks you into getting a horse, then leaves home ten years later and you are the one left holding the hay hook, ......it makes ya think. Pets are a big commitment but a way bigger blessing!

You cannot escape God's Love

Back in 1981 a miracle began and is still happening. Many scoff or simply don't want to believe because of mindset, but I do, from personal experience, believe that Our Lady has given these messages to help us. This happens on the 25th of each month via the children of Medjugore.

That's the background in a nutshell but there is tons more to research if you would like.

Many people including many Catholics are not aware of this gift from God.

I was reading some of the messages and came across this one which I thought might be of help to anyone who happens upon this site:

"Dear Children, I invite you to decide to love God above all else. In this time when due to the spirit of consumerism one forgets what it means to love and cherish true values, I invite you again, little children, to put God first place in your life. Do not let Satan attract you through material things, little children, but decide for God who is freedom and love. Choose life and not death of soul...................."

She said she came so that not one of her children would be lost. For 27 years now, she pleads for us and to us. It's a serious matter. Probably more serious than any of us can comprehend. But, ask questions! Ask God about this and wait for His answer, if you like.

Or you can chalk it all up to crazy people.

Either way, no matter what religion, etc., you cannot escape God's love♥

That's a relief!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eleven, eleven, eleven

The other evening, after a long day of being moody and sad, full of fear and dread, ( ya know, the usual for a scorpian), I needed a positive message or sign, so I got out my dad's bible. I opened it up and saw his handwriting and just could not help but cry.

11/11/11 his birthday. He was so proud of that date and being English.

As I was reading through the bible almost every verse my eyes rested on was about taking courage, keeping the faith, and knowing God is with me.

I remember reading some of these very verses with dad. They say the Holy Spirit helps you to remember, even people like me, menopausal.

Ha, ha, very funny.

Anyway, it amazes the heck out of me how when you love someone, that love continues even after death, which is just a change, not an end. Love never ends. NEVER. Thank goodness!

He is in Heaven and still tries to soothe my nerves with reassurance. Many daughters see their fathers as heroes, as the strongest man ever.

I'm like that.

But don't call me a daddy's girl. It's a respect, gratitude and adoration thing. He shared his weaknesses and failures with me, which helped to make me strong.

In the Bible where Jesus said "where you are weak, I am strong" or maybe it was "when" either way, I love that verse. It's full of hope.

Lately I've been feeling the ever present fact I have no control over anything, not really. That feeling is debilitating and leaves me feeling weak, so perhaps that is when the Lord is strong?

Also I noticed my father marked his entire bible with tons of symbols and dates, but I have no clue what in the world they mean????!!!!

(His nickname was Pete) The verses below from the book of Psalms was marked near the end of his life. He claimed them for his own.

And, they came true.